Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
