She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
