And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
