People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
