Ambien. No doubt about it.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
