Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
