His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
