We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
