She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
