NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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