Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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