Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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