well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
