Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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