Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
