TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
