I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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