i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
