if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
