Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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