OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
