I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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