ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
