So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
