i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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