im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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