whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
