i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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