If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
