next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
