This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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