For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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