he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
