i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
