I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
