Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
