My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
