I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
