Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
