I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
