Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the day after is always just damage control
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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