you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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