I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
