I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
