their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
