So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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