Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
