Non-Jews are for practice
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
