I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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