I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My vagina just recognized that song.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
