I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
