It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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