I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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