Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just high enough for therapy.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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